Food in India!

I would like to dedicate this post to foods that I love that can only be found (or are absolutely delicious) in India!

 

1. Five Star (if it didn’t melt in the 10 second walk from the street side cart to my house, it would be even more amazing)
2. Jackfruit (I would eat it all if it didn’t involve a day field trip to the bathroom)
3. Cardoman Milk (Elachi Milk) from Aavin (one of the best chilled drinks if you’re in the mood for a sweet cold drink on a hot day)
4. Cheetos Balls! (They’re balls of Cheetos rolled in this amazing spicy Indianish masala flavor! Too bad I wasn’t allowed to have any this trip because my parents worried it would get me sick L )
5. Cornetto Ice Cream (the best part of the ice cream is the tip of the cone that is filled with this delicious MILK not dark chocolate. YUM!)
6. Tender Coconut (not the water, but the VERY tender coconut on the inside that the coconut cart man peels off so expertly for you to eat – unbeatable)

 

I’m sure they’re more! How can they not import this to America…I’m going to have to change this.

Summer 2014 in India (The Rest of the Days)

The Rest of the Days

I’m lumping the rest of the days together to represent the inability to write blogs because of no internet! Just kidding, I slept my free time away, but I really did have no internet.

 

The last place I travelled to was my mom’s parent’s house in a village called Serangolam. It’s about a two hour drive from Srirangam. Because it’s a village, it’s not very sustainable on it’s own so all the facilities (like shopping for vegetables or the supermarket or an internet center etc) are available in the town right next to it. It’s quiet and our house is right in front of the temple, which gives it an interesting serene kind of feel in the evening light.

 

Not having internet was tough at sometimes but for the most part it wasn’t really an issue. Even though I do this thing once in a while where I don’t use my phone or the internet or something for a couple days, it surprises me every time that I can keep myself so engaged and busy without it. It sounds silly but it’s true! I met a friend that I knew before I was born basically, and she missed her baby brother’s birthday just to see me because she wasn’t sure when she would see me next. The last time we hung out was 6 years ago, but I guess not all friendships need constant communication to be understood by the other person.

 

The best part about the four days in Serangolam was connecting with my cousin. The cousins I always see and have grown up with are all way younger than me, so it’s more like ‘play time’ with them, but I’ve never been able to actually talk as an equal to any of them. It’s never something I thought about because to me, that’s all I knew – growing up with the 3 little ones. But this time, I had the chance to spend a lot of time with the cousin born right after me, my mama’s son. He’s heading off to college in a week, and I guess that’s probably the point in my life where friend circles involved people from multiple years; a year a two younger or older didn’t prove to have major maturity gaps. I guess I’ve never had him confide in me before, but it was nice. I had only remembered memories of us when we were young or when I visited India a few times before and they were all about us being silly kids, fighting and goofing off. I learned a lot that I didn’t know – funny anecdotes about his father (my mama) that I had never heard, silly events in his life, his concerns, and so much more. I wish I had the chance to grow up with him too.

 

A lot of people take growing up with family for granted. I guess I probably take my parents and sister for granted. But I never got to have my grandparents live with me all my life, or some of my cousins either. It is always a visit, there is a hello and a goodbye, and I resent the goodbye even days after it is said. I can do my best to call and video to talk to them, but some things just need to be said, done, and experienced in person. Until then, I’m just going to have to cherish what I hope will be many frequent but amazing trips to see my family. They’re worth all the jet lag I can have.

 

I wish I had slept less and taken the time to write every day so that I had written about the small things that caught my attention each day. Oh well. I guess I’m happy that I spent the time actually creating the memories, even if I can’t remember them now. So long India, I’ll see you soon 🙂

Summer 2014 in India (Day 6)

Day 6

I woke up at 5, which I guess has become a normal time for me now. It was a slow morning, relaxed. I cut my grandma’s nails. I feel so bad for her. She has arthritis which not only causes her pain, but also makes her bones grow in awkward directions resulting in slightly deformed shape for a finger or a toe. Her nails are also very hard, making it difficult to cut for anyone but especially for her. It is also very painful for her to have to bend down and do this, so instead she waits until someone can do it for her. I love doing this for my grandma. I don’t know why she feels so bad that I touch her feet and spend a long time cutting her nails, I’m her granddaughter! The affection I have for my grandparents always seem to surprise them, but in a pleasant way. I’m happy that I can help her do something that is so important for her. It’ll let her have nicely cut, neat, and clean nails, which is very important.

 

My grandparents have always been the best story tellers. They know so many tales about Ramayanam, or Krishna, or any other awesome story. They’re so patient and explain everything so well, enunciating and fluctuating their voices perfectly to match the voices of the characters they portray in the story. I realized only later in life that this is such an amazing talent that people take for granted. I used to ask for so many of these tales as bed time stories when I was a kid and I would fall asleep listening to them – just kidding, they were too enthralling to fall asleep on. I had to know what happened next, who did what, did he end up choosing the right thing, but I would always have to wait with curiosity until the next night’s story time for that part of the story to be revealed.

Summer 2014 in India (Day 5)

Day 5

We left for Srirangam from Chennai today. Srirangam is where my dad was born (very proud of it too I’ve got to say). I love Srirangam, it’s such a peaceful area. Certain places were built as a city that was meant for god, where the temple would be the center of attention. Srirangam is one of those places. It’s a relaxed city, without the crowds that popular cities like Chennai attract, the most pleasant winds in the evening, and the funniest animals to be seen. When I was little, lots of goats and ducks used to walk into our backyards and just walk by. Cows roam the streets (they do in Chennai too but even more freely here).

 

My dad’s brother joined us on the journey. He’s hilarious, just like my dad, but when they get together, it’s the absolute best. They’re both always joking about everything, making inappropriate jokes, picking on people, making fun of everyone else – they know how to have a good time! It was nice to hear about the stories that my father and my chithappa had to tell about their childhood. My dad has always said it and I guess it is true: my father’s generation really has seen it all; from no computer and snail mail communication to internet, wifi, and touch screen interfaces, they have lived through the entire transformation. It’s crazy to think that my father had to travel over one entire day, on HOT day, in the second class of a train, just to see his parents once or maybe twice a year if he was lucky. He would then inform his parents that he had arrived through mail which would only be delivered to my grandparents 3 or 4 days later. This seems so ridiculous to me! How could things have been so different?!

 

But I love seeing my mom and dad with their family. When my mom’s with her brother (my mama), her mom, and her dad, she becomes less stressed out. It’s nice to see her so at ease. She knows that she’ll be taken care of. For at least a day or two, she doesn’t have to be ‘my mom’ or the one who’s always in charge of everything and knows where everything is. My dad doesn’t seem to have such a dramatic change, but you can see subtle changes. My father has referred to my grandma (his mom) as “my mom”. Very few times has he said “amma” because to me and my sister, it’s always paatti (grandma) so everyone calls her paatti. But on the train, with his brother he said “amma will probably have it”. It seems like such a small silly thing to even mention, but to me, it was seeing my dad with his family. Knowing my family and all their relatives is one thing, but seeing them interact, laugh, and be themselves is a whole different thing.

 

The best of the day was seeing my cousins from my chithappa’s side (my dad’s younger brother’s kids) and my grandma! Her house is always kept so nicely and decorated so well – but of course, it’s my grandma so it has to be. I totally forgot about the mosquitos here, but thank god for the bug repellent spray and lotion. It’s a daily ritual to have to put that on, but it’s so worth it.

Summer 2014 in India (Day 4)

Day 4:

Today I spent 4 hours at the salon. The first two hours, I got my nails done with a mani/pedi. At Naturals (this salon) it was probably $12 to get both a mani and pedi done vs the $25 it costs in America. But the best part is how patiently and how thoroughly they take care of you. They had so many different soaps and scrubs and washed and scrubbed my feet and hands so well. It was worth the time 🙂

 

I spent barely 10 minutes on a bike today with my cousin, but I have to say it was the scariest 10 minutes of my trip so far. Bikes are nice in India because they can go through narrow spaces in a traffic jam, but that’s also why they’re so scary. I’m just glad I made it out alive. And at the end I got to eat my favorite India candies – Five Star, Milky Bar, and Alpenlibe.

 

My uncle in Chennai lives less than 3 minutes away from the Nanganallur Anjaneyar Temple (a Hanuman Temple). Anjaneyar is our family god, so he’s always had a special respect. This Anjaneyar at this temple is around 62 feet tall. He’s huge and absolutely gorgeous! We only went for a short period of time but I’m so happy I got to see him 6 years later.

 

We went to dinner at my uncle and aunt’s place (my cousins, their daughters, live in California now). It’s always a great time with them! The highlight of this trip was probably the fact that we all congregated in their bedroom to talk instead of their living area because it was so hot and the room has an AC. At least we weren’t sweaty 🙂

Summer in India (Day 3)

Day 3

I slept for 11 hours. Great. I guess I am jetlagged but it’s weird, I sleep at 7/8 pm and wake up at around 4 or 5 am. But everyone in my family here wakes up that early. But you know what’s crazy? They wake up without an alarm! That just seems amazing to me. Their biological systems are impeccable!

 

I totally forgot to write about something that happened on Day 1 or 2 (can’t remember). We went to what I think is the best restaurant I’ve eaten at in the world! It was a Rajasthani restaurant called Rajdhani. As we entered, there was a man in a proper Rajasthani outfit that greeted us and put a tika on each of our foreheads (a tika is like a mark that originated with a religious purpose). It made us feel so important; being greeted individually and addressed with well wishes for our meal put a great start to the day. Then we were seated at these fancy tables where each plate had a folded napkin along with 10 (ish) really small bowls and a couple spoons. As usual we had to ask for bottled water. I assumed that like all restaurants we would be handed a menu to make our decisions for our dinner. But I guess this was more like a buffet style, where we were given everything to eat! Literally everything. But instead of a serve yourself buffet, there was one person who was set to serve each food. But even before the first dish was handed out, a guy came with a golden bowl and a pot with a fancy spout. We were each asked to wash our hands as warm water was poured from the spout and drained into the bowl that the guy held below. Then started what felt like a never ending amount of dishes. It was great because they only poured a little tiny amount of each dish so that we could try everything! And every single one of them was amazing. It tasted amazing because everything tasted authentic, and not like the typical commercialized restaurant food. It was a little funny because all of the servers were rajasthani, so they didn’t understand tamil and we didn’t speak rajasthani so we had to communicate by pointing to things that we wanted more of, but they were nice enough to name the different dishes before they put it on our plates. It was probably the best restaurant experience I’ve ever had. And it was only 450 Rupees which translates to a little less than 9 dollars!! As I discovered this fact, I turned to my dad and exclaimed how cheap this was, because just ONE dosa in the US was around $8. He laughed and he said yeah it may be cheap for you because you are earning in US dollars and spending it in rupees, but you have to understand that here, people’s salaries proportional to the prices here and in fact prices go up but salaries don’t, so it’s in fact not all that cheap to everyone else. That’s interesting, so like my cousin said, I guess it’s best to earn in US dollars and spend in rupees 🙂

 

But there was one thing that always bothered me when I was eating dinner. I wish I knew two things: 1) how many dishes were going to be served overall and 2) how much of each dish they were going to serve. I knew that it had to be little, but with these many dished I wish they served EVEN less. I tried to finish as much as I could but I still wasted a lot of food. I know that I do waste food but for some reason I felt really guilty walking out of the restaurant with so many poor people around me who only get to eat once in a few days. This is a different topic that I will probably write about later, but for now, I just want to document the awful guilty feeling I had.

 

On a much happier note, today I went to a grandma’s 100^th birthday party!! It was the best birthday I’ve been to. She’s a grandma that’s related to me but the connection is a bit far and complicated. She was 100 and absolutely gorgeous. My mom told me a silly story that even when she was 90 something years old, she wanted to re-stitch her ears (grandma’s back in the day wore such heavy earrings that their ears would rip) just so she could wear earrings again, because she always dressed up before she left the house. All her sons and daughters and some of her grandchildren were there (from Canada, from the UK, from the US, etc) and they all gave speeches in honor of her! How cool! To live to be 100 is incredible, so she deserved all the praise everyone gave her. And she was so humbled and sat in her decorated chair and watched as everyone came to take pictures with her and take her blessings. I was almost going to miss coming to this event because my stomach was hurting all morning, but I’m so thankful I didn’t miss it because I got to meet so many people! All the times I’ve met them before, I’ve never been able to make the connection of how they’re related to me or other people I knew, but this time it was awesome because I could make the connection and keep everything in check. Coming from a HUGEEEE family, this is quite an achievement! And the best part was that I got to meet cousins that I’ve never gotten to meet or really connect with before. They were my age which is great, and it turns out that one of my cousin’s friend studies at my school and I know her!! Actually I knew her before my cousin even knew her haha, how funny! No I lied, I actually think the best part of the party was meeting the coolest grandpa ever. He is the older brother of my grandmother from my dad’s side. Funny thing is my grandmother is the youngest of the siblings, 20 years younger in fact!! She was really little, so this grandpa, her brother, was pretty old, but he was so cool! He met me and said “wow, you’re like an exact replica of Janaka (my grandma)”, which is nothing unusual because everyone who’s seen my grandma, my dad, and I know that we all are copies of each other 🙂 Which is such an honor because my grandma was absolutely stunning! But he saw me, greeted me, and commented about how I look like my grandmother and we proceeded to have a conversation, in English! He said, “Yeah so I believe your father said you were studying in uhh let’s see…oh right San Diego? Is that right?” I was shocked! Usually when people ask me where I study, I’m not sure what to say because So Cal isn’t much of land mark except for LA, so I kind of beat around the bush that I’m in San Diego, but he nailed it! He told about how he was there with his wife a long time ago and how nothing beats San Francisco and it’s crooked streets and everything else. My father then joined the conversation and explained how grandpa has traveled the world and has been to almost every famous place there is! He was so humble and said, oh that’s not big deal, it’s just a few places here and there. He was so amazing. I guess I underestimate how awesome people in generations older than me are, because another grandma I met introduced herself to me and said “yeah yeah, I’ve seen pictures of you growing up on facebook with your mom and sister too! I was going to send you a friend request, but I thought maybe you might not recognize me, but now that we are acquainted, we can be facebook friends and keep in touch!” I was amazed, but this is great – to be able to keep in touch with all my family is something I’m lucky to be able to do! Go grandparents!

 

As I mentioned, the connections I need to make in order to understand how someone is related to me is complex, so I’ve decided that I want to create a family tree of all the family that I know! It’s going to be HUGE and I know that it’s going to be very very crowded, but most importantly I know that it one person will probably have 6 arrows point to him or her because I am probably related to them in 6 different ways. But I am determined to make this happen!

Summer 2014 in India (Day 2)

Day 2

I think I spoke too quickly that I like the heat. I really don’t. I felt like my face was melting off. I was also stupid to wear a black cardigan. Yes I know it sounds stupid: I wore a tank top and tights with a black cardigan. But I wore this because it was the only ‘nice’ clothes I had brought and I was visiting some friends that uphold me to some American standard so I felt the need to look as nice as I can.

 

Then I spent some more time at banks, as usual observing the interactions between people. An interaction that always bothers me is between the customer and the person who serves the customer. There’s a couple things to this. One is that, the customer for some reason believes that he is entitled to everything – respect, extra care, and of course that he can get more of the deal than what is normal (because you know, he can “pull some strings”). I understand that it may be a fact that the person at the bank or the coffee shop or a clothing store may be of substantially lower income than you, but it is in no way a reason for you to respect them any less. There is no need to be rude and arrogant when you talk to them, and there’s no need to go out of you way to make them feel less important than you are. Yes they are there to serve you, because it’s their JOB not because they owe you anything because of their status. It bothers me a lot. If you think that you are so much superior to them, then why on earth are you asking him to do the job for you in the first place?! Get your own coffee, or make your own bank statement, or find your own size for the millionth top you’ve tried on; but you can’t because you don’t know how. So now just calm down and let the person who is capable of doing these things, do them for you.

 

We then went to my chithi’s (my mom’s younger sister) in laws house. I got to my three cuties (they’re from the US as well). But the youngest of the three just got his head shaved; in my culture, at the age of 1, the baby’s hair is shaved off to make him or her completely bald and this hair is given to God – I’m not exactly sure what the exact significance of this is, but I should ask and find out! So the youngest got his hair shaved off and he looks absolutely adorable but naughty! 🙂 I’m so glad I got to see the all here because that means I would’ve gotten to see all my first cousins in this trip! There was a little incident here that left me feeling a little silly. Their grandma offered me Boost or Bournvita or Horlicks or Milo (all typical Indian drinks right?) so I said ok I’ll have Bournvita! She gave me the drink in a davara tumbler (type in davara tumbler into google and search for pictures). Because milk isn’t pasturized in India, you have to cut the packets of milk that get delivered, pour it all into a pot, and then boil it, to heat and clean the milk. Because of this, you can’t choose to heat it to your liking, you have to boil it, and then you have control over how much you cool the milk before you drink it as per your liking. The cooling down process is pretty cool. The milk is poured into the tumbler (the glass) and then it is poured into the davara (the bowl looking thing) and then back into the tumbler and so on and so forth until the milk is cooled. Sounds simple, but it has to be executed with skill because both the tumbler and davara get really hot (because they’re metal) so you have to hold it carefully! The height at which the milk is poured from the tumbler to the davara is a sign of how skilled you are. Anyways, point being is I suck at doing this so I sat there confused about whether I should attempt or not, until my chithappa (my mom’s sister’s husband) asked if I needed help. I smiled and handed it to him and watched him cool it down and hand it back to me – I felt like such a baby, oops. Too bad I couldn’t just hit the perfect 30 seconds button on the microwave, now that’s my forte 🙂

 

Then finally I got to eat what I really wanted: coconuts! They are amazing, I love the coconut water but even more than that, I absolutely LOVE the white stuff inside (the tender coconut). It’s so cool that the guy cuts off pieces of the coconut perfectly and has a hole the perfect size to put a straw in and drink the coconut water. Then I hand it back to him and he chops the coconut thing in two halves and cuts out a small slice of the coconut that will be used as the spoon too (how efficient!). And then he scoops the tender white coconut off of one half and puts it into the other and then hands me this half with the cool spoon. YUM.

 

We then proceed to shop at the famous Pondy Bazaar. I was honestly exhausted because I woke up at 4 today, but I really needed earrings to match the new outfits I had got so I kept walking in the heat and busy streets to shop and scavenge for the perfect earrings from the selection of literally millions.

 

We then went out to dinner at what used to be one of my favorite restaurants, Saravana Bhavan. I still love their vanilla and chocolate milkshakes though 🙂 But this time, I was so amused by a white man that was sittign at the table. It’s no surprise that everyone looks at the white man intently because we’re all curious what he’s doing here and why he’s here. He looks a little out of place, but I always just get this good feeling that it’s nice to see the integration of these two worlds 🙂 I figured he was probably here for business or visiting a friend until he asked for something IN TAMIL. I was amazed! Sure his accent wasn’t on point, but it was so good! He was communicating in Tamil. And he understood what the waiters were telling him as well! It was so cool. He was soon joined by a tamil woman, and they proceeded to have a conversation about something. I was so curious, I tried to eaves drop and finally my sister told me that he was telling her about nutrition, and how to read the nutritional labels on the back of candy bars. How cool! I wanted to go up to him and talk to him, but I guess it’s this kind of an action that would make him feel alienated when clearly to everyone else has accepted him!

Summer 2014 in India (Day 1)

Day 1

I was aware of the fact that I hadn’t been to India in 6 years, but I didn’t realize how long that actually was until I was landing in Chennai airport. I miss India. I miss the people, I miss the food, I miss the busy streets, I miss the crazy driving, but more than anything I miss my family.

 

We landed in Chennai airport and we went to my mom’s brother’s house here. I knew that in 6 years boys grow, but I underestimated by how much! The older of my cousins towers over me at 6’ 2’’ while the younger one is just above my height. I’m the oldest of the cousins on both my mom and dad’s side of the family and yet I will probably be the shortest, great.

 

There’s always been this one ideal in the practiced Indian culture that I could never agree with: patriarchy. In my eyes, the women seem to be subjugated to certain tasks and duties, as were men; however, the distinction is made when men are forbidden from doing women’s tasks because it seems too beneath them to have to execute. It always made me upset that I was expected to clean the table or wash the dishes. I understand that they are simple tasks, and to be honest I don’t even mind doing them, but when I am told that I HAVE to do them, it makes me upset. Why should the women have to do it all? The men could lend a hand and everything could be done in half the time and everyone can relax. Of course, things are changing now and I’m sure that progressive change from the typical nuclear family with a working father and stay at home mother, these gender norms will be broken as well. And my first day here proved just that. When it’s the time of the month for a woman, in my culture, the women are told to not enter the kitchen for the first four days, it’s called being “out of the house”. There are so many theories as to why this kind of a custom came about. One of them explains this practice by addressing the fact that feminine products were not what they are today and to maintain proper hygiene with the lack of nice products, the women were told to be away from the rest of the house to keep things clean and sanitary. Another reason, which is what my family seems like they embody in India is the idea that the women are already doing so much labor for the house and the kids and the grandparents and every other guest that happens to be at the house (yes the woman does a LOT of work), so these 4 days where they aren’t supposed to enter the kitchen is an automatic relief from their responsibilities. They can relax, and take care of themselves for these 4 days. It’s not always strict like this, and this practice varies from family to family from the woman being completely separated from the house to families that do not even practice this.

Anyway, that was just background information, but point is during this period for my mami (my mom’s brother is my mama, his wife is my mami), my cousin was the one to do all the work she usually does. I sound surprised because a few summers ago, I was told to wipe the tables and just help around the kitchen but he was not expected to do everything. But to my surprise, I sat there while he cooked the rice and made bomb coffee, and took care of other dishes, feeling ashamed. I felt ashamed because this time I wanted to help and I wanted to everything, but…I didn’t know how. It was embarrassing that he had to teach ME how to do it. But I guess I was happy that we are both required to do similar things now.

I also spent such a long time at banks today. Since we only come every few years, my parents have to be responsible and make sure everything’s taken care of. I went this time so I can learn what they do and how they do it, should I need to take care of things later, but uh..I don’t think I learned much. Oh well, at least it was air conditioned. I always notice the interactions between people, and that’s what I always think is really funny. I guess staring isn’t considered rude in India because a lot of people seem to be doing it. I guess everyone is just curious about everything; I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt and say that’s what it is.